Family and the Fourth of July (or any day for that matter)

My family and I went up to the mountains this weekend to celebrate the Fourth of July.  My wife's grandparents have a mountain cabin that has been in the family for decades.  Quiet, peaceful, a nice getaway from the daily grind.  Even though my wife's grandfather passed away several years ago, her mom, stepdad and grandmother spend quite a bit of time there during the summer.

After driving through one of the worst thunderstorms I have ever faced in a car, the rest of the trip up was uneventful.  We got up on Saturday to some cool temps and spent the day hanging out, taking pictures of some hummingbirds and such.  We also made ice cream, the old-fashioned way.  Now I'm not big on tradition in certain cases, and cranking out some ice cream when I could just buy a tub at the store is one of them.  But my kids loved it.  They were so excited to help their granddad make it, even if they sat on the barrel so it didn't move.  I reluctantly helped crank, even though it was peach and I wasn't going to eat any of it.

A little bit later, my father-in-law Barry fired up the grill for some burgers and dogs.  Now he was about 60 years old and not much of a conversationalist.  We did have a few things in common, like golf and the occasional NASCAR race, but conversations could often have a long stretch of silence before one of us came up with something new.  I wasn't overly eager to hang out while the burgers cooked, thinking that I wasn't going to be much help and that I could be doing other things.  But at the prodding of my wife, I sat out with him and talked about Tiger Woods and monster par-5 holes while the sizzle of the grill filled the air.  After dinner, we started to watch the race together, both of us sitting there quietly until I began to doze off.  A little bit later, I put my kids to bed and fell asleep with them until it was time for everyone to go to bed, at which time I moved them to the living room where we were sleeping.

My wife woke me this morning at 4am and said she needed me right away.  As I got up I could hear the dog barking and some laughing or crying, I wasn't sure which, coming from the next room.

"Barry's dead." 

As we walked toward the back, I couldn't believe what my wife had said.  If anyone in the family was going to pass away in their sleep, we all would have bet the house it would have been her grandmother, who hadn't been in good health since her husband died a few years ago.  Apparently, sometime in the last half hour, Barry's wife heard him snoring kind of funny and tried to wake him so he would stop. But she couldn't.  My wife couldn't either.  And in that instant I those two little words, the man who was more of a father to my wife than her biological dad was, the father-in-law who I had played golf with a week ago and who was "Paw Paw" to my two girls, was gone.

Could I have done anything different?  Cranked the ice cream even after my arms tired?  Been a little less hesitant to spend a few minutes at the grill with him?  Stayed awake during the race so he would have someone other than a bunch of women in the house to talk to?  Maybe, maybe not.  

But like the lightning bolt that hit directly across the highway from us on the way up, it jolted me into the sad realization that a day which started out so beautifully with hummingbirds and hamburgers could be anyone's last.

So take a minute out of this craziness that we call life and do something really important.  Call your parents just because . . . talk to an old friend again . . . hug your kids, and don't let go right away.

Or even just watch a hummingbird.                          

The Picture Says It All...

Detroit Red Wings - Stanley Cup Champions

How Quickly Life Can Change

September 22, 2005.

That's the day my life changed.  We were getting ready for another hockey season and things were seemingly going pretty good.  We had hired a new coach, who had brought a positive attitude to the team, something we had been missing the previous two years.  Only days earlier, I had been named our team's General Manager, something I was very proud of.  I loved my career, my work. People used to tell me I had a really cool job, but I didn't think of myself as better than anyone else.  I was happy, content...life was good.

I awoke early the morning of the 22nd to a mandatory evacuation of Beaumont, TX in advance of Hurricane Rita.  We had been keeping an eye on this storm in the Gulf as it became less and less likely that we were going to be spared.  The previous day, my staff and I had storm-proofed our office as best we could. The computers were on the desks, covered in plastic and I had spent the day burning backup CD's of our files to take with me, just in case.  After work, I went to the local park to fill some sandbags.  My back porch tended to retain water during heavy rain and I wanted to make sure it didn't get in the back door.  It was kind of surreal, standing there in my work clothes as dozens of residents hurriedly filled their bags.  When I got home, I had a decision to make.

I had to decide what, out of everything I owned, did I want to take with me in case we did have to evacuate.  I had never thought about it before.  I had the trunk space of an Impala to fit what I considered  too important to leave behind.  Not counting the necessities of what could be an extended stay away from home.  So after the clothes, food, toiletries and such, I managed to condense my life into two or three small bankers boxes.  I broke down that night when I couldn't find my wedding video (which I did find later).  I packed up a shoebox that contained letters, cards and notes from close friends, many of them old flames, others from my family.  My valuable sports cards, my Playstation 2, my work files and some pictures.  A couple of books, one about daddies and daughters, and some other things I can't remember now.  And we packed the car and went to sleep, not knowing what the morning would bring.

When we woke up, we saw that the storm had taken a direct path toward Beaumont and had strengthened to a Category 4.  It was time to go.  Eight hours later, sometimes having moved a single mile in an hour and not using the air conditioning on a 95 degree day to save gas, we found a room.  In eight hours we had traveled 120 miles...you do the math.  The next day we got on the road again and headed further north, landing in Fort Worth.  As I watched CNN the night before the storm made landfall, the reporter was saying that by tomorrow morning there could be twenty feet of water covering where he was standing.  As I watched, I recognized where he was...he was in downtown Beaumont, near a bar my friends and I used to go to.  It was weird, the possibility that your home for the last few years could be under 20 feet of water in a few hours.  I went to bed early that morning, deciding that whatever was going to happen would happen and a few more hours of watching TV wouldn't change that.

When I woke up, I found out that the storm made a late turn toward Louisiana and Beaumont was spared the brunt of the damage.  When I say spared, I mean that we only received 120 mph winds.  No storm surge but the devastation was widespread.  We stayed on the road for a few days before coming to North Carolina to stay with family.

I only went back to my home in Texas twice more after I left.  Once I flew down to see if I still had a house or not.  The second time was to pack everything up and ship it to NC before I left for California to continue working in hockey.  My wife and kids never made it back to Texas.  No goodbyes with friends. Or co-workers. Or teachers.

Maybe this blog is some kind of therapy for me.  Since leaving Texas I've battled depression, had more jobs in 15 months than I'd had in the previous 15 years and generally hit rock bottom, financially, personally, about any way you can think of.  I've only talked about my experiences with a few close friends.

But things are good now.  Happiness has returned, work is good, life is enjoyable again.  I pray that all of you who read this never have to go through what I did.  But I also pray that you take a step back and look at your life now. Appreciate what you have.  Love those around you.  I've rekindled some old friendships since I left Texas, found some people I thought I'd lost all contact with and lost some people I never thought I would.

Enjoy life, enjoy today.  Because if you look at your calendar, you'll find September 22 on there again this year.

Iron Man = Greatest. Superhero. Movie. Ever.

One.  Word.  Sentences.  Are.  Cool.

Anyway, I took my wife to Iron Man for Mother's Day.  Yes, she said she wanted to see it too.  No, I really didn't believe her.  Yes, she really liked it after all.

So, as far as the movie goes, it was FANTASTIC!  Now I have to admit I'm one of those closet superhero fan kind of guys, what still having comic books from my youth and such.  And I've seen all of the Superman/Batman/Spider Man/X-Men/insert comic book hero here movies that have been made.  And until now, I thought Spider Man and the X-Men movies have been the best.  Not classic movies by any means, but cool, enjoyable, summer blockbusters.

But Robert Downey, Jr. is great in this movie.  His portrayal of Tony Stark, the man, is terrific, what with the complex emotions and one-liners and such.  And when he becomes Iron Man...well, that's just icing on the cake.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading to the garage to see if I can turn those extra metal garbage cans into a cool red and gold suit.  I'll let you know how the flying bit turns out.

Parents and Pucks

It's late and I really don't have much on my mind tonight.  Except my mom is coming to visit and the Red Wings open their Conference Final series against Dallas tomorrow night.  What a dilemma.  Should I spend some quality time with my mom?  Or should I watch the hockey game?

(time spent thinking)

Well, it's a good thing my mom likes hockey too.  Who says watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs with family isn't quality time, anyway?

Go Wings.

DP

Getting Older . . . and Friendship

Funny, I really don't feel that old but since I hit the big 4-0 I've been doing a lot of reminiscing.  Now don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life, a great wife and two daughters that mean everything to me.  I enjoy my job, have rediscovered my faith and even started bowling again.  I'm probably as happy as I've been in a long time.  So why, you ask, am I looking back on the past so much?  I guess it's because I have such good memories of the old days.

Each of you who receive the email update about my blog are part of my past, present and hopefully, my future.  It's little things, like a song.  Maybe an old saying I haven't heard in years.  Something I pull out of an old dusty box in the attic.  A smell.  Visiting an old hangout. Whatever it may be, it reminds me of a time when things were much simpler.  Or, as a good friend of mine once said, "Remember when the toughest thing about life was that the cafeteria closed at 6:30?  I miss that."  Well, sometimes I miss that too.

Time may pass, people may move and lose touch, but only for a while.  Good friends, the ones who you hope come to your funeral some day, are never far away.  So to each of you who read this post, know that I think of you.  Whether we are best friends, or maybe we worked together, or if we mean/meant a little more than just friends to each other, I hope life is giving you the blessings that you deserve. Trust me, it's not always easy... I've had more hardships that I ever imagined.  But you know what?  I'm still alive and kicking.  I hope you are too.  Some of you I'll see soon . . . some of you I hope to see again some day, or get an email from, or a phone call.  Something that lets me know you're thinking of me too.  Because the easiest way to forget about someone is to forget about them.

DP

Cool Movies and Other Theater Thoughts

I've actually had some time to relax and rented a few movies over the last week or so. First up was 'The Mist'. Classic scary movie with a totally unexpected ending. Definitely worth the rental. Tonight I watched 'Cloverfield'. Two for two with my selections. Very good movie, but then again I've always loved disaster/monster movies.

Funny, having kids I've forgotten what it's like to see an adult film (not that kind) in a theater. In fact, I can't even remember the last non-animated movie I saw on the big screen. I think it was King Kong a couple years back when I was out in Long Beach. Oh well, that's all gonna change when Iron Man comes out. The kid in me is really psyched for this one.

The only thing I hate about going to the movies nowdays, aside from the fact I need to take out a loan to pay for it, is that the movies NEVER, I mean NEVER, seem to be in frame for focused correctly. Now I can complain about that having managed a theater and been a projectionist in my younger days. How hard is it to look out of the booth and see if the picture is centered? And don't get me started on focusing. For any of you who work in a theater and are in charge of this stuff, here's a hint...focus the film when it's showing white letters on a black background...it's much easier to see the edges on text rather than on a scene itself. Enough of my rant.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

DP

First Post

Cool...I have a blog. I've followed some before but never thought I'd be the one writing. Anyway, this should be fun because I tend to have some REALLY random thoughts. Life, sports, work, friends, religion...it'll all be here. But it's late and I'm tired so not much thought-provoking material here tonight. Check back soon and thanks for reading. DP